Systematic Grhastha Life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than irresponsible sinful life

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.27.1

A sinful life can be counteracted by various processes of religion such as yajña, vrata and dāna — that is, the performance of sacrifices, the taking of a vow for some religious ritual, and the giving of charity. In this way one may become free from the reactions of sinful life and at the same time awaken his original Kṛṣṇa consciousness. By coming home, taking his bath, eating nice foodstuffs, getting refreshed and searching out his wife, King Purañjana came to his good consciousness in his family life.
Benefits of Systematic Family Life as enjoined in the Vedas
 In other words, a systematic family life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than an irresponsible sinful life. If a husband and wife combine together in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and live together peacefully, that is very nice. However, if a husband becomes too much attracted by his wife and forgets his duty in life, the implications of materialistic life will again resume. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has therefore recommended, anāsaktasya viṣayān (Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.255). Without being attached by sex, the husband and wife may live together for the advancement of spiritual life. The husband should engage in devotional service, and the wife should be faithful and religious according to the Vedic injunctions. Such a combination is very good. 

Sex Desire spoils spiritual advancement of the family
However, if the husband becomes too much attracted to the wife due to sex, the position becomes very dangerous. Women in general are very much sexually inclined. Indeed, it is said that a woman’s sex desire is nine times stronger than a man’s. It is therefore a man’s duty to keep a woman under his control by satisfying her, giving her ornaments, nice food and clothes, and engaging her in religious activities. Of course, a woman should have a few children and in this way not be disturbing to the man. Unfortunately, if the man becomes attracted to the woman simply for sex enjoyment, then family life becomes abominable.

The great politician Cāṇakya Paṇḍita has said, bhāryā rūpavatī śatruḥ: a beautiful wife is an enemy. Of course every woman in the eyes of her husband is very beautiful. Others may see her as not very beautiful, but the husband, being very much attracted to her, sees her always as very beautiful. If the husband sees the wife as very beautiful, it is to be assumed that he is too much attracted to her. This attraction is the attraction of sex. The whole world is captivated by the two modes of material nature rajo-guṇa and tamo-guṇa, passion and ignorance. 

A Husband's Role if the wife is not properly situated
Generally women are very much passionate and are less intelligent; therefore somehow or other a man should not be under the control of their passion and ignorance. By performing bhakti-yoga, or devotional service, a man can be raised to the platform of goodness. If a husband situated in the mode of goodness can control his wife, who is in passion and ignorance, the woman is benefited. Forgetting her natural inclination for passion and ignorance, the woman becomes obedient and faithful to her husband, who is situated in goodness. Such a life becomes very welcome. The intelligence of the man and woman may then work very nicely together, and they can make a progressive march toward spiritual realization. Otherwise, the husband, coming under the control of the wife, sacrifices his quality of goodness and becomes subservient to the qualities of passion and ignorance. In this way the whole situation becomes polluted.

The conclusion is that a household life is better than a sinful life devoid of responsibility, but if in the household life the husband becomes subordinate to the wife, involvement in materialistic life again becomes prominent. In this way a man’s material bondage becomes enhanced. Because of this, according to the Vedic system, after a certain age a man is recommended to abandon his family life for the stages of vānaprastha and sannyāsa.

A Untrained Man is never satisfied by one woman

From Srila Prabhupada's purports to:

SB 4.26.17
King Purañjana left home, neglected his own wife and engaged himself in killing animals. This is the position of all materialistic men. They do not care for a married chaste wife. They take the wife only as an instrument for sense enjoyment, not as a means for devotional service. To have unrestricted sex life, the karmīs work very hard. They have concluded that the best course is to have sex with any woman and simply pay the price for her, as though she were a mercantile commodity. Thus they engage their energy in working very hard for such material acquisitions. Such materialistic people have lost their good intelligence. They must search out their intelligence within the heart. A person who does not have a chaste wife accepted by religious principles always has a bewildered intelligence.

SB 4.26.6

People have become so degraded in this age that on the one hand they restrict polygamy and on the other hand they hunt for women in so many ways. Many business concerns publicly advertise that topless girls are available in this club or in that shop. Thus women have become instruments of sense enjoyment in modern society. The Vedasenjoin, however, that if a man has the propensity to enjoy more than one wife — as is sometimes the propensity for men in the higher social order, such as the brāhmaṇas, kṣatriyas and vaiśyas, and even sometimes the śūdras — he is allowed to marry more than one wife. Marriage means taking complete charge of a woman and living peacefully without debauchery. At the present moment, however, debauchery is unrestricted. Nonetheless, society makes a law that one should not marry more than one wife. This is typical of a demoniac society.

SB 4.26.4:One form of hunting is known as woman-hunting. A conditioned soul is never satisfied with one wife. Those whose senses are very much uncontrolled especially try to hunt for many women. King Purañjana’s abandoning the company of his religiously married wife is representative of the conditioned soul’s attempt to hunt for many women for sense gratification. Wherever a king goes, he is supposed to be accompanied by his queen, but when the king, or conditioned soul, becomes greatly overpowered by the desire for sense gratification, he does not care for religious principles.

SB 4.25.44

A living entity is never satisfied with a woman unless he is trained in the system of brahmacarya. Generally a man’s tendency is to enjoy many women, and even at the very end of life the sex impulse is so strong that even though one is very old he still wants to enjoy the company of young girls. Thus because of the strong sex impulse the living entity becomes more and more involved in this material world.

Captivation due to illicit sex( husband or wife)

Also see 

Systematic Grhastha Life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than irresponsible sinful life

From Srila Prabhupada's Purport to 4.26.26:

Both man and woman desire one another; that is the basic principle of material existence. Women in general always keep themselves beautiful so that they can be attractive to their lusty husbands. When a lusty husband comes before his wife, the wife takes advantage of his aggressive activities and enjoys life. Generally when a woman is attacked by a man — whether her husband or some other man — she enjoys the attack, being too lusty. In other words, when one’s intelligence is properly utilized, both the intellect and the intelligent person enjoy one another with great satisfaction. As stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (7.9.45):

yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ
 kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham

The actual happiness of the karmīs is sex life. They work very hard outside the home, and to satiate themselves after their hard labor, they come home to enjoy sex life. King Purañjana went to the forest to hunt, and after his hard labor he returned home to enjoy sex life. If a man lives outside the home and spends a week in a city or somewhere else, at the end of the week he becomes very anxious to return home and enjoy sex with his wife. This is confirmed in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam: yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham. Karmīs work very hard simply to enjoy sex. Modern human society has improved the materialistic way of life simply by inducing unrestricted sex life in many different ways. This is most prominently visible in the Western world.

From 4.26.23:

An effeminate husband, simply being attracted by the external beauty of his wife, tries to become her most obedient servant. Śrīpāda Śaṅkarācārya has therefore advised that we not become attracted by a lump of flesh and blood. The story is told that at one time a man, very much attracted to a beautiful woman, wooed the woman in such a way that she devised a plan to show him the ingredients of her beauty. The woman made a date to see him, and before seeing him she took a purgative, and that whole day and night she simply passed stool, and she preserved that stool in a pot. The next night, when the man came to see her, she appeared very ugly and emaciated. When the man inquired from her about the woman with whom he had an engagement, she replied, “I am that very woman.” The man refused to believe her, not knowing that she had lost all her beauty due to the violent purgative that caused her to pass stool day and night. When the man began to argue with her, the woman said that she was not looking beautiful because she was separated from the ingredients of her beauty. When the man asked how she could be so separated, the woman said, “Come on, and I will show you.” She then showed him the pot filled with liquid stool and vomit. Thus the man became aware that a beautiful woman is simply a lump of matter composed of blood, stool, urine and similar other disgusting ingredients. This is the actual fact, but in a state of illusion, man becomes attracted by illusory beauty and becomes a victim of māyā.

From 4.25.62:

1. Just to satisfy his desires, the King got the Queen, and thus he became cheated by material existence. Although he was not willing to do so, he remained a pet animal under the control of material intelligence.
2.  Just as a pet monkey dances according to the desires of its master, the King danced according to the desires of the Queen. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (5.5.2) it is said, mahat-sevāṁ dvāram āhur vimukteḥ: if one associates with a saintly person, a devotee, one’s path of liberation becomes clear.
3.  But if one associates with a woman or with a person who is too much addicted to a woman, his path of bondage becomes completely clear.
4. On the whole, for spiritual advancement one must give up the company of women. This is what is meant by the order of sannyāsa, the renounced order.
5. Before taking sannyāsa, or completely renouncing the material world, one has to practice avoiding illicit sex. Sex life, licit or illicit, is practically the same, but through illicit sex one becomes more and more captivated.
6. By regulating one’s sex life there is a chance that one may eventually be able to renounce sex or renounce the association of women. If this can be done, advancement in spiritual life comes very easily.

How one becomes captivated by the association of one’s dear wife is explained in this chapter by Nārada Muni.

1.  Attraction for one’s wife means attraction for the material qualities.
2. One who is attracted by the material quality of darkness is in the lowest stage of life, whereas one who is attracted by the material quality of goodness is in a better position. 
3. Sometimes we see that when a person is on the platform of material goodness, he is attracted more or less by the cultivation of knowledge.
4. This is, of course, a better position, for knowledge gives one the preference to accept devotional service. Unless one comes to the platform of knowledge, the brahma-bhūta stage, one cannot advance in devotional service. 

Feelings of security derived from material things is illusion

From srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.25.55

When the living entity is encircled by wife, children and home, he acts on the mental plane. Sometimes he is very happy, sometimes he is very much satisfied, sometimes he is not satisfied, and sometimes he is bewildered. Bewilderment is called moha, illusion. Illusioned by society, friendship and love, the living entity thinks that his so-called society, friendship and love, nationality, community, etc., will give him protection. He does not know that after death he will be thrown into the hands of a very strong material nature that will force him to accept a certain type of body according to his present work. This body may not even be a human body. Thus the living entity’s feeling of security in this life in the midst of society, wife and friendship is nothing but illusion. All living entities encaged in various material bodies are illusioned by the present activities of material enjoyment. They forget their real business, which is to go back home, back to Godhead.

Everyone who is not in Kṛṣṇa consciousness must be considered to be in illusion. One’s so-called feelings of happiness and satisfaction resulting from material things are also illusions. Factually neither society, friendship, love nor anything else can save one from the onslaught of the external energy, which is symptomized by birth, death, old age and disease. To get even one living entity out of the illusory condition is very difficult; therefore Lord Kṛṣṇa says in Bhagavad-gītā (7.14):

daivī hy eṣā guṇa-mayī
 mama māyā duratyayā
mām eva ye prapadyante
 māyām etāṁ taranti te

“This divine energy of Mine, consisting of the three modes of material nature, is difficult to overcome. But those who have surrendered unto Me can easily cross beyond it.” Therefore, unless one surrenders completely at the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa, he cannot get out of the entanglement of the three modes of material nature.

The Distress of a husbandless women

SB 4.25.42

O mighty-armed, who in this world will not be attracted by your arms, which are just like the bodies of serpents? Actually you relieve the distress of husbandless women like us by your attractive smile and your aggressive mercy. We think that you are traveling on the surface of the earth just to benefit us only.

Purport: 

When a husbandless woman is attacked by an aggressive man, she takes his action to be mercy. A woman is generally very much attracted by a man’s long arms. A serpent’s body is round, and it becomes narrower and thinner at the end. The beautiful arms of a man appear to a woman just like serpents, and she very much desires to be embraced by such arms.

The word anātha-vargā is very significant in this verse. Nātha means “husband,” and a means “without.” A young woman who has no husband is called anātha, meaning “one who is not protected.” As soon as a woman attains the age of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire. It is therefore the duty of the father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise she will be very much mortified by not having a husband. Anyone who satisfies her desire for sex at that age becomes a great object of satisfaction. It is a psychological fact that when a woman at the age of puberty meets a man and the man satisfies her sexually, she will love that man for the rest of her life, regardless who he is. Thus so-called love within this material world is nothing but sexual satisfaction.

Working hard for little happiness

From the purport to SB 4.25.4

Nārada Muni asked King Prācīnabarhiṣat: My dear King, what do you desire to achieve by performing these fruitive activities? The chief aim of life is to get rid of all miseries and enjoy happiness, but these two things cannot be realized by fruitive activity.

In this material world there is a great illusion which covers real intelligence. A man in the mode of passion wants to work very hard to derive some benefit, but he does not know that time will never allow him to enjoy anything permanently. Compared with the work one expends, the gain is not so profitable. Even if it is profitable, it is not without its distresses. If a man is not born rich and he wants to purchase a house, cars and other material things, he has to work hard day and night for many years in order to possess them. Thus happiness is not attained without undergoing some distress.

Actually, pure happiness cannot be had within this material world. If we wish to enjoy something, we must suffer for something else. On the whole, suffering is the nature of this material world, and whatever enjoyment we are trying to achieve is simply illusion. After all, we have to suffer the miseries of birth, old age, disease and death. We may discover many fine medicines, but it is not possible to stop the sufferings of disease or death. Actually, medicine is not the counteracting agent for either disease or death. On the whole there is no happiness in this material world, but an illusioned person works very hard for so-called happiness. Indeed, this process of working hard is actually taken for happiness. This is called illusion.

On sva-dharma

From the purport to the verse: SB 4.24.53

My dear Lord, those who desire to purify their existence must always engage in meditation upon Your lotus feet, as described above. Those who are serious about executing their occupational duties and who want freedom from fear must take to this process of bhakti-yoga.

The word sva-dharmam (as in sva-dharmam anutiṣṭhatām) indicates that the system of varṇāśrama — which indicates the occupational duties of the brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya and śūdra and which is the perfect institution for humanity — must be supported by bhakti-yoga if one at all wants security in life. Generally people think that simply by executing the occupational duties of a brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya or śūdra or the duty of a brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha or sannyāsī one becomes fearless or securely attains liberation, but factually unless all these occupational duties are accompanied by bhakti-yoga, one cannot become fearless. In Bhagavad-gītā there are descriptions of karma-yoga, jñāna-yoga, bhakti-yoga, dhyāna-yoga, etc., but unless one comes to the point ofbhakti-yoga, these other yogas cannot help one attain the highest perfection of life. In other words, bhakti-yoga is the only means for liberation. We find this conclusion also in Caitanya-caritāmṛta in a discussion between Lord Caitanya and Rāmānanda Rāya regarding a human being’s liberation from this material world. In that discussion Rāmānanda Rāya referred to the execution of varṇāśrama-dharma, and Lord Caitanya indicated that thevarṇāśrama-dharma was simply external (eho bāhya). Lord Caitanya wanted to impress upon Rāmānanda Rāya that simply by executing the duties of varṇāśrama-dharma one is not guaranteed liberation. Finally Rāmānanda Rāya referred to the process of bhakti-yoga: sthāne sthitāḥ śruti-gatāṁ tanu-vāṅ-manobhiḥ (Bhāg. 10.14.3). Regardless of one’s condition of life, if he practices bhakti-yoga, which begins with hearing (śruti-gatām) the transcendental messages of the Lord through the mouths of devotees, he gradually conquers the unconquerable God.

God is known to be unconquerable, but one who submissively hears the words of a self-realized soul conquers the unconquerable. The conclusion is that if one is serious about liberation, he not only should execute the occupational duties of varṇāśrama-dharma but should also engage in bhakti-yoga by beginning hearing from a realized soul. This process will help the devotee conquer the unconquerable Supreme Personality of Godhead and become His associate after giving up the material body.

Without being fearless, one cannot be joyful

From the Purport to SB 4.24.52

In Bhagavad-gītā it is said that in order to make spiritual progress, one must become fearless. Abhayaṁ sattva-saṁśuddhiḥ (Bg. 16.1). Fearfulness is the result of material involvement. It is also said in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam(11.2.37), bhayaṁ dvitīyābhiniveśataḥ syāt: fearfulness is a creation of the bodily conception of life. As long as one is absorbed in the thought that he is this material body, he is fearful, and as soon as one is freed from this material conception, he becomes brahma-bhūta, or self-realized, and immediately becomes fearless. Brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā (Bg. 18.54). Without being fearless, one cannot be joyful. The bhaktas, the devotees, are fearless and always joyful because they are constantly engaged in the service of the lotus feet of the Lord. It is also said:

evaṁ prasanna-manaso
 bhagavad-bhakti-yogataḥ
bhagavat-tattva-vijñānaṁ
 mukta-saṅgasya jāyate

(Bhāg. 1.2.20)

By practicing bhagavad-bhakti-yoga, one becomes fearless and joyful. Unless one becomes fearless and joyful, he cannot understand the science of God. Bhagavat-tattva-vijñānaṁ mukta-saṅgasya jāyate. This verse refers to those who are completely liberated from the fearfulness of this material world. When one is so liberated, he can really understand the transcendental features of the form of the Lord. Lord Śiva therefore advises everyone to practicebhagavad-bhakti-yoga. As will be clear in the following verses, by doing so one can become really liberated and enjoy spiritual bliss.

It is also stated:

om ajñāna-timirāndhasya
 jñānāñjana-śalākayā
cakṣur unmīlitaṁ yena
 tasmai śrī-gurave namaḥ

The Lord is the supreme spiritual master, and the bona fide representative of the Supreme Lord is also a spiritual master. The Lord from within enlightens the devotees by the effulgence of the nails of His lotus feet, and His representative, the spiritual master, enlightens from without. Only by thinking of the lotus feet of the Lord and always taking the spiritual master’s advice can one advance in spiritual life and understand Vedic knowledge:

yasya deve parā bhaktir
 yathā deve tathā gurau
tasyaite kathitā hy arthāḥ
 prakāśante mahātmanaḥ

Thus the Vedas (Śvetāśvatara Upaniṣad 6.23) enjoin that for one who has unflinching faith in the lotus feet of the Lord, as well as in the spiritual master, the real import of Vedic knowledge can be revealed.

Duty of the father

From the purport to SB 4.24.19

It is the duty of the father, the spiritual master and the king to regulate their subordinates in such a way that they ultimately become fully unalloyed devotees of the Supreme Lord. That is the duty of the superiors, and it is the duty of the subordinates to obey their orders perfectly and in a disciplined way. 

Sufficient Sunshine keeps the mind clear and transparent

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.24.36 :
(Chapter Chanting of the Song Sung B Lord Siva)

When there is sufficient sunshine, the mind remains clear and transparent — in other words, the sun-god helps the mind of the living entity to become situated on the platform of paramahaṁsa. Thus Lord Śiva prays to Aniruddha to be kind upon him so that his mind will always be in the perfect state of cleanliness and will be engaged in the devotional service of the Lord. Just as fire sterilizes all unclean things, the sun-god also keeps everything sterilized, especially dirty things within the mind, thus enabling one to attain elevation to the platform of spiritual understanding.

hear from the mouths of pure devotees who speak from the core of their hearts

SB 4.20.24

na kāmaye nātha tad apy ahaṁ kvacin
 na yatra yuṣmac-caraṇāmbujāsavaḥ
mahattamāntar-hṛdayān mukha-cyuto
 vidhatsva karṇāyutam eṣa me varaḥ

My dear Lord, I therefore do not wish to have the benediction of merging into Your existence, a benediction in which there is no existence of the nectarean beverage of Your lotus feet. I want the benediction of at least one million ears, for thus I may be able to hear about the glories of Your lotus feet from the mouths of Your pure devotees.

From the purport Text 24:

1. Mahārāja Pṛthu wanted to have a million ears to hear the glories of the lotus feet of the Lord. He specifically mentioned that the glories of the Lord should emanate from the mouths of pure devotees, who speak from the cores of their hearts. It is stated in the beginning of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam(1.1.3), śuka-mukhād amṛta-drava-saṁyutam: the nectar of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam became more relishable because it emanated from the mouth of Śrīla Śukadeva Gosvāmī. 
2. One might think that these glories of the Lord can be heard from anywhere, from the mouths of either devotees or nondevotees, but here it is specifically mentioned that the glories of the Lord must emanate from the mouths of pure devotees. 
3. The words satāṁ prasaṅgān mama vīrya-saṁvidaḥ (Bhāg. 3.25.25) mean that glorification of the Lord is potent when uttered from the mouth of a pure devotee. 

From the purport Text 25:

1. The transcendental vibration from the mouth of a pure devotee is so powerful that it can revive the living entity’s memory of his eternal relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
2. The Lord asks every sleeping living entity to get up and engage in devotional service so that his mission in this human form of life may be fulfilled. This awakening voice comes through the mouth of a pure devotee.
3. A pure devotee always engages in the service of the Lord, taking shelter of His lotus feet, and therefore he has a direct connection with the saffron mercy-particles that are strewn over the lotus feet of the Lord. Although when a pure devotee speaks the articulation of his voice may resemble the sound of this material sky, the voice is spiritually very powerful because it touches the particles of saffron dust on the lotus feet of the Lord. 
4. As soon as a sleeping living entity hears the powerful voice emanating from the mouth of a pure devotee, he immediately remembers his eternal relationship with the Lord, although up until that moment he had forgotten everything.
5. 
   

What attracts the Most Attractive?

SB 4.20.20

prasthānābhimukho ’py enam
 anugraha-vilambitaḥ
paśyan padma-palāśākṣo
 na pratasthe suhṛt satām

The Lord was just about to leave, but because He was so greatly inclined toward the behavior of King Pṛthu, He did not depart. Seeing the behavior of Mahārāja Pṛthu with His lotus eyes, He was detained because He is always the well-wisher of His devotees.

From the purport:

Here the words suhṛt satām are very significant. The Supreme Personality of Godhead is always very inclined toward His devotee and is always thinking of the devotee’s well-being. This is not partiality.

What can we do to hold the attention of the Lord?

Develop :

• A Service Attitude towards His devotees
• Continuously engage in chanting the Holy Names, His glories and engaging in some responsible time bound service to Him
• Consistently engage in mindful hearing of Srimad Bhagavatam
• Develop Vaishnava Qualities

Acting out of Duty vs Acting out of Emotions

SB 4.14.13 — The great sages, having thus decided, approached King Vena. Concealing their real anger, they pacified him with sweet words and then spoke as follows.

King Vena had caused numerous problems because of his behavior and the sages were very concerned about the spiritual welfare of the kingdom and people in general. While they contemplated on the best course of action and approached King Vena , we see that even if they were very angry they still acted out of their duty and not out of their anger. 

In the  verses SB 4.14.14 to SB 4.14.22 they instruct him about the path of dharma. King Vena gets upset and blasphemes not only them but also Lord Vishnu and all the demigods.

After hearing King Vena speak, the sages decide that he must be killed again not because of being personally hurt by his behavior but because he was blasphemeing the Lord :

SB 4.14.30 — My dear Vidura, all good fortune unto you. The foolish King, who thought himself very learned, thus insulted the great sages, and the sages, being brokenhearted by the King’s words, became very angry at him.

SB 4.14.31 — All the great saintly sages immediately cried: Kill him! Kill him! He is the most dreadful, sinful person. If he lives, he will certainly turn the whole world into ashes in no time.

SB 4.14.32 — The saintly sages continued: This impious, impudent man does not deserve to sit on the throne at all. He is so shameless that he even dared insult the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Viṣṇu.

SB 4.14.33 — But for King Vena, who is simply inauspicious, who would blaspheme the Supreme Personality of Godhead, by whose mercy one is awarded all kinds of fortune and opulence?

SB 4.14.34 — The great sages, thus manifesting their covert anger, immediately decided to kill the King. King Vena was already as good as dead due to his blasphemy against the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Thus without using any weapons, the sages killed King Vena simply by high-sounding words.