Husband Wife Interactions must be centered around Lord Krishna else there will be attachment

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.28.18 where Puranjana is about to die thinking about his wife
King Purañjana was anxiously thinking, “Alas, my wife is encumbered by so many children. When I pass from this body, how will she be able to maintain all these family members? Alas, she will be greatly harassed by thoughts of family maintenance.”

All these thoughts of one’s wife indicate that the King was overly engrossed with the thoughts of woman. Generally a chaste woman becomes a very obedient wife. This causes a husband to become attached to his wife, and consequently he thinks of his wife very much at the time of death. This is a very dangerous situation, as is evident from the life of King Purañjana. If one thinks of his wife instead of Kṛṣṇa at the time of death, he will certainly not return home, back to Godhead, but will be forced to accept the body of a woman and thus begin another chapter of material existence.

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.28.19

King Purañjana then began to think of his past dealings with his wife. He recalled that his wife would not take her dinner until he had finished his, that she would not take her bath until he had finished his, and that she was always very much attached to him, so much so that if he would sometimes become angry and chastise her, she would simply remain silent and tolerate his misbehavior.

Purport: 

A wife is always supposed to be submissive to her husband. Submission, mild behavior and subservience are qualities in a wife which make a husband very thoughtful of her. For family life it is very good for a husband to be attached to his wife, but it is not very good for spiritual advancement. Thus Kṛṣṇa consciousness must be established in every home. If a husband and wife are very much attached to one another in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they will both benefit because Kṛṣṇa is the center of their existence. Otherwise, if the husband is too much attached to his wife, he becomes a woman in his next life. The woman, being overly attached to her husband, becomes a man in her next life. Of course, it is an advantage for a woman to become a man, but it is not at all advantageous for the man to become a woman.

Sense Gratification makes the body weak and reduces life span

Srila Prabhupada's Purport 4.27.24

(Narada Muni advises KalaKanya (Jara- old age) to marry the King of the Yavanas)

The words yavanānām ṛṣabham refer to the King of the Yavanas. The Sanskrit words yavana and mleccha apply to those who do not follow the Vedic principles. According to the Vedic principles, one should rise early in the morning, take bath, chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, offer maṅgala-ārati to the Deities, study Vedic literature, take prasāda and engage in dressing and decorating the Deities. One must also collect money for the temple expenditures, or if one is a householder he must go to work in accordance with the prescribed duties of a brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya orśūdra. In this way one should live a life of spiritual understanding, and this is the Vedic way of civilization. One who does not follow all these rules and regulations is called a yavana or mleccha. One should not mistakenly think that these words refer to certain classes of men in other countries. There is no question of limitation according to nationalism. Whether one lives in India or outside of India, he is called a yavana or mleccha if he does not follow the Vedic principles. One who does not actually follow the hygienic principles prescribed in the Vedic rules and regulations will be subjected to many contagious diseases. Because the students in this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement are advised to follow the Vedic principles, they naturally become hygienic.

If a person is Kṛṣṇa conscious, he can work like a young man even if he is seventy-five or eighty years old. Thus the daughter of Kāla (Time) cannot overcome a Vaiṣṇava. Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī engaged in writingCaitanya-caritāmṛta when he was very old, yet he presented the most wonderful literature about the activities of Lord Caitanya. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī and Sanātana Gosvāmī began their spiritual lives at a very old age — that is, after they retired from their occupations and family lives — yet they presented many valuable literatures for the advancement of spiritual life.

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Because a devotee rigidly follows the instructions of Nārada Muni, he has no fear of old age, disease or death. Apparently a devotee may grow old, but he is not subjected to the symptoms of defeat experienced by a common man in old age. Consequently, old age does not make a devotee fearful of death, as a common man is fearful of death. When jarā, or old age, takes shelter of a devotee, Kālakanyā diminishes the devotee’s fear. A devotee knows that after death he is going back home, back to Godhead; therefore he has no fear of death. Thus instead of depressing a devotee, advanced age helps him become fearless and thus happy.

Srila Prabhupada's purport to 4.27.28
After much consideration, the King of the Yavanas decided to make the best use of a bad bargain. Kālakanyā was a bad bargain, and no one liked her, but everything can be used for the service of the Lord. Thus the King of the Yavanas tried to utilize her for some purpose. The purpose has already been explained — that is, Kālakanyā asjarā, the invalidity of old age, can be used to arouse a sense of fear in people so that they will prepare for the next life by engaging in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.


Foolish people accept unhappiness as happiness; therefore the King of the Yavanas decided to attack such foolish people imperceptibly by old age, disease, and ultimately death. Of course, after death there must be birth; therefore Yavana-rāja thought it wise to kill all the karmīs through the agency of Kālakanyā and thus try to make them aware that materialistic advancement is not actually advancement. Every living entity is a spiritual being, and consequently without spiritual advancement the human form of life is ruined.

Srila Prabhupada's purport to 4.27.30

Yavana-rāja’s brother was Prajvāra, and Kālakanyā was invalidity itself. Combined and strengthened by the soldiers of Yavana-rāja — namely nonhygienic conditions, illicit sex and ultimately a high degree of temperature to bring on death — they would be able to smash the materialistic way of life. In this connection it is significant that Nārada was immune to the attack of jarā, or invalidity. Similarly jarā,or the destructive force, cannot attack any follower of Nārada Muni or another pure Vaiṣṇava.

Srila Prabhupada's purport to 4.28.2
According to the Vedic system, before coming to such a stage one should leave home and take sannyāsa to preach the message of God for the duration of life. However, if one sits at home and is served by his beloved wife and children, he certainly becomes weaker and weaker due to sense gratification. When death finally comes, one leaves the body devoid of spiritual assets.

Sexual Addiction reduces life span, intelligence, opulence and personal beauty

Srila Prabhupada's Purport to 4.27.21

The great sage Nārada Muni was a naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī — that is, he never had sex life. He was consequently an ever-green youth. Old age, jarā, could not attack him. The invalidity of old age can overcome an ordinary man, but Nārada Muni was different. Taking Nārada Muni to be an ordinary man, the daughter of Time confronted him with her lusty desire. It requires great strength to resist a woman’s attraction. It is difficult for old men, and what to speak of young. Those who live as brahmacārīs must follow in the footsteps of the great sage Nārada Muni, who never accepted the proposals of Jarā. Those who are too much sexually addicted become victims of jarā, and very soon their life span is shortened. Without utilizing the human form of life for Kṛṣṇa consciousness, the victims ofjarā die very soon in this world.

Srila Prabhupada's purport to 4.28.1

When a man is young, he does not care for old age but enjoys sex to the best of his satisfaction, not knowing that at the end of life his sexual indulgence will bring on various diseases, which so much disturb the body that one will pray for immediate death. The more one enjoys sex during youth, the more he suffers in old age.

SB 4.28.6: 

When King Purañjana was embraced by Kālakanyā, he gradually lost all his beauty. Having been too much addicted to sex, he became very poor in intelligence and lost all his opulence. Being bereft of all possessions, he was conquered forcibly by the Gandharvas and the Yavanas.

Purport: 

When a person is attacked by the invalidity of old age and is still addicted to sense gratification, he gradually loses all his personal beauty, intelligence and good possessions. He thus cannot resist the forceful attack of the daughter of Time.

Systematic Grhastha Life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than irresponsible sinful life

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.27.1

A sinful life can be counteracted by various processes of religion such as yajña, vrata and dāna — that is, the performance of sacrifices, the taking of a vow for some religious ritual, and the giving of charity. In this way one may become free from the reactions of sinful life and at the same time awaken his original Kṛṣṇa consciousness. By coming home, taking his bath, eating nice foodstuffs, getting refreshed and searching out his wife, King Purañjana came to his good consciousness in his family life.
Benefits of Systematic Family Life as enjoined in the Vedas
 In other words, a systematic family life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than an irresponsible sinful life. If a husband and wife combine together in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and live together peacefully, that is very nice. However, if a husband becomes too much attracted by his wife and forgets his duty in life, the implications of materialistic life will again resume. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has therefore recommended, anāsaktasya viṣayān (Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.255). Without being attached by sex, the husband and wife may live together for the advancement of spiritual life. The husband should engage in devotional service, and the wife should be faithful and religious according to the Vedic injunctions. Such a combination is very good. 

Sex Desire spoils spiritual advancement of the family
However, if the husband becomes too much attracted to the wife due to sex, the position becomes very dangerous. Women in general are very much sexually inclined. Indeed, it is said that a woman’s sex desire is nine times stronger than a man’s. It is therefore a man’s duty to keep a woman under his control by satisfying her, giving her ornaments, nice food and clothes, and engaging her in religious activities. Of course, a woman should have a few children and in this way not be disturbing to the man. Unfortunately, if the man becomes attracted to the woman simply for sex enjoyment, then family life becomes abominable.

The great politician Cāṇakya Paṇḍita has said, bhāryā rūpavatī śatruḥ: a beautiful wife is an enemy. Of course every woman in the eyes of her husband is very beautiful. Others may see her as not very beautiful, but the husband, being very much attracted to her, sees her always as very beautiful. If the husband sees the wife as very beautiful, it is to be assumed that he is too much attracted to her. This attraction is the attraction of sex. The whole world is captivated by the two modes of material nature rajo-guṇa and tamo-guṇa, passion and ignorance. 

A Husband's Role if the wife is not properly situated
Generally women are very much passionate and are less intelligent; therefore somehow or other a man should not be under the control of their passion and ignorance. By performing bhakti-yoga, or devotional service, a man can be raised to the platform of goodness. If a husband situated in the mode of goodness can control his wife, who is in passion and ignorance, the woman is benefited. Forgetting her natural inclination for passion and ignorance, the woman becomes obedient and faithful to her husband, who is situated in goodness. Such a life becomes very welcome. The intelligence of the man and woman may then work very nicely together, and they can make a progressive march toward spiritual realization. Otherwise, the husband, coming under the control of the wife, sacrifices his quality of goodness and becomes subservient to the qualities of passion and ignorance. In this way the whole situation becomes polluted.

The conclusion is that a household life is better than a sinful life devoid of responsibility, but if in the household life the husband becomes subordinate to the wife, involvement in materialistic life again becomes prominent. In this way a man’s material bondage becomes enhanced. Because of this, according to the Vedic system, after a certain age a man is recommended to abandon his family life for the stages of vānaprastha and sannyāsa.

A Untrained Man is never satisfied by one woman

From Srila Prabhupada's purports to:

SB 4.26.17
King Purañjana left home, neglected his own wife and engaged himself in killing animals. This is the position of all materialistic men. They do not care for a married chaste wife. They take the wife only as an instrument for sense enjoyment, not as a means for devotional service. To have unrestricted sex life, the karmīs work very hard. They have concluded that the best course is to have sex with any woman and simply pay the price for her, as though she were a mercantile commodity. Thus they engage their energy in working very hard for such material acquisitions. Such materialistic people have lost their good intelligence. They must search out their intelligence within the heart. A person who does not have a chaste wife accepted by religious principles always has a bewildered intelligence.

SB 4.26.6

People have become so degraded in this age that on the one hand they restrict polygamy and on the other hand they hunt for women in so many ways. Many business concerns publicly advertise that topless girls are available in this club or in that shop. Thus women have become instruments of sense enjoyment in modern society. The Vedasenjoin, however, that if a man has the propensity to enjoy more than one wife — as is sometimes the propensity for men in the higher social order, such as the brāhmaṇas, kṣatriyas and vaiśyas, and even sometimes the śūdras — he is allowed to marry more than one wife. Marriage means taking complete charge of a woman and living peacefully without debauchery. At the present moment, however, debauchery is unrestricted. Nonetheless, society makes a law that one should not marry more than one wife. This is typical of a demoniac society.

SB 4.26.4:One form of hunting is known as woman-hunting. A conditioned soul is never satisfied with one wife. Those whose senses are very much uncontrolled especially try to hunt for many women. King Purañjana’s abandoning the company of his religiously married wife is representative of the conditioned soul’s attempt to hunt for many women for sense gratification. Wherever a king goes, he is supposed to be accompanied by his queen, but when the king, or conditioned soul, becomes greatly overpowered by the desire for sense gratification, he does not care for religious principles.

SB 4.25.44

A living entity is never satisfied with a woman unless he is trained in the system of brahmacarya. Generally a man’s tendency is to enjoy many women, and even at the very end of life the sex impulse is so strong that even though one is very old he still wants to enjoy the company of young girls. Thus because of the strong sex impulse the living entity becomes more and more involved in this material world.

Captivation due to illicit sex( husband or wife)

Also see 

Systematic Grhastha Life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than irresponsible sinful life

From Srila Prabhupada's Purport to 4.26.26:

Both man and woman desire one another; that is the basic principle of material existence. Women in general always keep themselves beautiful so that they can be attractive to their lusty husbands. When a lusty husband comes before his wife, the wife takes advantage of his aggressive activities and enjoys life. Generally when a woman is attacked by a man — whether her husband or some other man — she enjoys the attack, being too lusty. In other words, when one’s intelligence is properly utilized, both the intellect and the intelligent person enjoy one another with great satisfaction. As stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (7.9.45):

yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tucchaṁ
 kaṇḍūyanena karayor iva duḥkha-duḥkham

The actual happiness of the karmīs is sex life. They work very hard outside the home, and to satiate themselves after their hard labor, they come home to enjoy sex life. King Purañjana went to the forest to hunt, and after his hard labor he returned home to enjoy sex life. If a man lives outside the home and spends a week in a city or somewhere else, at the end of the week he becomes very anxious to return home and enjoy sex with his wife. This is confirmed in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam: yan maithunādi-gṛhamedhi-sukhaṁ hi tuccham. Karmīs work very hard simply to enjoy sex. Modern human society has improved the materialistic way of life simply by inducing unrestricted sex life in many different ways. This is most prominently visible in the Western world.

From 4.26.23:

An effeminate husband, simply being attracted by the external beauty of his wife, tries to become her most obedient servant. Śrīpāda Śaṅkarācārya has therefore advised that we not become attracted by a lump of flesh and blood. The story is told that at one time a man, very much attracted to a beautiful woman, wooed the woman in such a way that she devised a plan to show him the ingredients of her beauty. The woman made a date to see him, and before seeing him she took a purgative, and that whole day and night she simply passed stool, and she preserved that stool in a pot. The next night, when the man came to see her, she appeared very ugly and emaciated. When the man inquired from her about the woman with whom he had an engagement, she replied, “I am that very woman.” The man refused to believe her, not knowing that she had lost all her beauty due to the violent purgative that caused her to pass stool day and night. When the man began to argue with her, the woman said that she was not looking beautiful because she was separated from the ingredients of her beauty. When the man asked how she could be so separated, the woman said, “Come on, and I will show you.” She then showed him the pot filled with liquid stool and vomit. Thus the man became aware that a beautiful woman is simply a lump of matter composed of blood, stool, urine and similar other disgusting ingredients. This is the actual fact, but in a state of illusion, man becomes attracted by illusory beauty and becomes a victim of māyā.

From 4.25.62:

1. Just to satisfy his desires, the King got the Queen, and thus he became cheated by material existence. Although he was not willing to do so, he remained a pet animal under the control of material intelligence.
2.  Just as a pet monkey dances according to the desires of its master, the King danced according to the desires of the Queen. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (5.5.2) it is said, mahat-sevāṁ dvāram āhur vimukteḥ: if one associates with a saintly person, a devotee, one’s path of liberation becomes clear.
3.  But if one associates with a woman or with a person who is too much addicted to a woman, his path of bondage becomes completely clear.
4. On the whole, for spiritual advancement one must give up the company of women. This is what is meant by the order of sannyāsa, the renounced order.
5. Before taking sannyāsa, or completely renouncing the material world, one has to practice avoiding illicit sex. Sex life, licit or illicit, is practically the same, but through illicit sex one becomes more and more captivated.
6. By regulating one’s sex life there is a chance that one may eventually be able to renounce sex or renounce the association of women. If this can be done, advancement in spiritual life comes very easily.

How one becomes captivated by the association of one’s dear wife is explained in this chapter by Nārada Muni.

1.  Attraction for one’s wife means attraction for the material qualities.
2. One who is attracted by the material quality of darkness is in the lowest stage of life, whereas one who is attracted by the material quality of goodness is in a better position. 
3. Sometimes we see that when a person is on the platform of material goodness, he is attracted more or less by the cultivation of knowledge.
4. This is, of course, a better position, for knowledge gives one the preference to accept devotional service. Unless one comes to the platform of knowledge, the brahma-bhūta stage, one cannot advance in devotional service. 

Feelings of security derived from material things is illusion

From srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.25.55

When the living entity is encircled by wife, children and home, he acts on the mental plane. Sometimes he is very happy, sometimes he is very much satisfied, sometimes he is not satisfied, and sometimes he is bewildered. Bewilderment is called moha, illusion. Illusioned by society, friendship and love, the living entity thinks that his so-called society, friendship and love, nationality, community, etc., will give him protection. He does not know that after death he will be thrown into the hands of a very strong material nature that will force him to accept a certain type of body according to his present work. This body may not even be a human body. Thus the living entity’s feeling of security in this life in the midst of society, wife and friendship is nothing but illusion. All living entities encaged in various material bodies are illusioned by the present activities of material enjoyment. They forget their real business, which is to go back home, back to Godhead.

Everyone who is not in Kṛṣṇa consciousness must be considered to be in illusion. One’s so-called feelings of happiness and satisfaction resulting from material things are also illusions. Factually neither society, friendship, love nor anything else can save one from the onslaught of the external energy, which is symptomized by birth, death, old age and disease. To get even one living entity out of the illusory condition is very difficult; therefore Lord Kṛṣṇa says in Bhagavad-gītā (7.14):

daivī hy eṣā guṇa-mayī
 mama māyā duratyayā
mām eva ye prapadyante
 māyām etāṁ taranti te

“This divine energy of Mine, consisting of the three modes of material nature, is difficult to overcome. But those who have surrendered unto Me can easily cross beyond it.” Therefore, unless one surrenders completely at the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa, he cannot get out of the entanglement of the three modes of material nature.

The Distress of a husbandless women

SB 4.25.42

O mighty-armed, who in this world will not be attracted by your arms, which are just like the bodies of serpents? Actually you relieve the distress of husbandless women like us by your attractive smile and your aggressive mercy. We think that you are traveling on the surface of the earth just to benefit us only.

Purport: 

When a husbandless woman is attacked by an aggressive man, she takes his action to be mercy. A woman is generally very much attracted by a man’s long arms. A serpent’s body is round, and it becomes narrower and thinner at the end. The beautiful arms of a man appear to a woman just like serpents, and she very much desires to be embraced by such arms.

The word anātha-vargā is very significant in this verse. Nātha means “husband,” and a means “without.” A young woman who has no husband is called anātha, meaning “one who is not protected.” As soon as a woman attains the age of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire. It is therefore the duty of the father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise she will be very much mortified by not having a husband. Anyone who satisfies her desire for sex at that age becomes a great object of satisfaction. It is a psychological fact that when a woman at the age of puberty meets a man and the man satisfies her sexually, she will love that man for the rest of her life, regardless who he is. Thus so-called love within this material world is nothing but sexual satisfaction.