Husband Wife Interactions must be centered around Lord Krishna else there will be attachment

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.28.18 where Puranjana is about to die thinking about his wife
King Purañjana was anxiously thinking, “Alas, my wife is encumbered by so many children. When I pass from this body, how will she be able to maintain all these family members? Alas, she will be greatly harassed by thoughts of family maintenance.”

All these thoughts of one’s wife indicate that the King was overly engrossed with the thoughts of woman. Generally a chaste woman becomes a very obedient wife. This causes a husband to become attached to his wife, and consequently he thinks of his wife very much at the time of death. This is a very dangerous situation, as is evident from the life of King Purañjana. If one thinks of his wife instead of Kṛṣṇa at the time of death, he will certainly not return home, back to Godhead, but will be forced to accept the body of a woman and thus begin another chapter of material existence.

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.28.19

King Purañjana then began to think of his past dealings with his wife. He recalled that his wife would not take her dinner until he had finished his, that she would not take her bath until he had finished his, and that she was always very much attached to him, so much so that if he would sometimes become angry and chastise her, she would simply remain silent and tolerate his misbehavior.

Purport: 

A wife is always supposed to be submissive to her husband. Submission, mild behavior and subservience are qualities in a wife which make a husband very thoughtful of her. For family life it is very good for a husband to be attached to his wife, but it is not very good for spiritual advancement. Thus Kṛṣṇa consciousness must be established in every home. If a husband and wife are very much attached to one another in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, they will both benefit because Kṛṣṇa is the center of their existence. Otherwise, if the husband is too much attached to his wife, he becomes a woman in his next life. The woman, being overly attached to her husband, becomes a man in her next life. Of course, it is an advantage for a woman to become a man, but it is not at all advantageous for the man to become a woman.

Systematic Grhastha Life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than irresponsible sinful life

From Srila Prabhupada's purport to SB 4.27.1

A sinful life can be counteracted by various processes of religion such as yajña, vrata and dāna — that is, the performance of sacrifices, the taking of a vow for some religious ritual, and the giving of charity. In this way one may become free from the reactions of sinful life and at the same time awaken his original Kṛṣṇa consciousness. By coming home, taking his bath, eating nice foodstuffs, getting refreshed and searching out his wife, King Purañjana came to his good consciousness in his family life.
Benefits of Systematic Family Life as enjoined in the Vedas
 In other words, a systematic family life as enjoined in the Vedas is better than an irresponsible sinful life. If a husband and wife combine together in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and live together peacefully, that is very nice. However, if a husband becomes too much attracted by his wife and forgets his duty in life, the implications of materialistic life will again resume. Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has therefore recommended, anāsaktasya viṣayān (Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.255). Without being attached by sex, the husband and wife may live together for the advancement of spiritual life. The husband should engage in devotional service, and the wife should be faithful and religious according to the Vedic injunctions. Such a combination is very good. 

Sex Desire spoils spiritual advancement of the family
However, if the husband becomes too much attracted to the wife due to sex, the position becomes very dangerous. Women in general are very much sexually inclined. Indeed, it is said that a woman’s sex desire is nine times stronger than a man’s. It is therefore a man’s duty to keep a woman under his control by satisfying her, giving her ornaments, nice food and clothes, and engaging her in religious activities. Of course, a woman should have a few children and in this way not be disturbing to the man. Unfortunately, if the man becomes attracted to the woman simply for sex enjoyment, then family life becomes abominable.

The great politician Cāṇakya Paṇḍita has said, bhāryā rūpavatī śatruḥ: a beautiful wife is an enemy. Of course every woman in the eyes of her husband is very beautiful. Others may see her as not very beautiful, but the husband, being very much attracted to her, sees her always as very beautiful. If the husband sees the wife as very beautiful, it is to be assumed that he is too much attracted to her. This attraction is the attraction of sex. The whole world is captivated by the two modes of material nature rajo-guṇa and tamo-guṇa, passion and ignorance. 

A Husband's Role if the wife is not properly situated
Generally women are very much passionate and are less intelligent; therefore somehow or other a man should not be under the control of their passion and ignorance. By performing bhakti-yoga, or devotional service, a man can be raised to the platform of goodness. If a husband situated in the mode of goodness can control his wife, who is in passion and ignorance, the woman is benefited. Forgetting her natural inclination for passion and ignorance, the woman becomes obedient and faithful to her husband, who is situated in goodness. Such a life becomes very welcome. The intelligence of the man and woman may then work very nicely together, and they can make a progressive march toward spiritual realization. Otherwise, the husband, coming under the control of the wife, sacrifices his quality of goodness and becomes subservient to the qualities of passion and ignorance. In this way the whole situation becomes polluted.

The conclusion is that a household life is better than a sinful life devoid of responsibility, but if in the household life the husband becomes subordinate to the wife, involvement in materialistic life again becomes prominent. In this way a man’s material bondage becomes enhanced. Because of this, according to the Vedic system, after a certain age a man is recommended to abandon his family life for the stages of vānaprastha and sannyāsa.

Laxmi Devi cleaning the Vaikuntha floor to achieve the grace of the Lord by doing so

SB 3.15.21
The ladies in the Vaikuṇṭha planets are as beautiful as the goddess of fortune herself. Such transcendentally beautiful ladies, their hands playing with lotuses and their leg bangles tinkling, are sometimes seen sweeping the marble walls, which are bedecked at intervals with golden borders, in order to receive the grace of the Supreme Personality of Godhead

In the Brahma-saṁhitā it is stated that the Supreme Lord, Govinda, is always served in His abode by many, many millions of goddesses of fortune. Lakṣmī-sahasra-śata-sambhrama-sevyamānam. These millions and trillions of goddesses of fortune who reside in the Vaikuṇṭha planets are not exactly consorts of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, but are the wives of the devotees of the Lord and also engage in the service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. It is stated here that in the Vaikuṇṭha planets the houses are made of marble. Similarly, in the Brahma-saṁhitā it is stated that the ground on the Vaikuṇṭha planets is made of touchstone. Thus there is no need to sweep the stone in Vaikuṇṭha, for there is hardly any dust on it, but still, in order to satisfy the Lord, the ladies there always engage in dusting the marble walls. Why? The reason is that they are eager to achieve the grace of the Lord by doing so.

It is also stated here that in the Vaikuṇṭha planets the goddesses of fortune are faultless. Generally the goddess of fortune does not remain steadily in one place. Her name is Cañcalā, which means “one who is not steady.” We find, therefore, that a man who is very rich may become the poorest of the poor. Another example is Rāvaṇa. Rāvaṇa took away Lakṣmī, Sītājī, to his kingdom, and instead of being happy by the grace of Lakṣmī, his family and his kingdom were vanquished. Thus Lakṣmī in the house of Rāvaṇa is Cañcalā, or unsteady. Men of Rāvaṇa’s class want Lakṣmī only, without her husband, Nārāyaṇa; therefore they become unsteady due to Lakṣmījī. Materialistic persons find fault on the part of Lakṣmī, but in Vaikuṇṭha Lakṣmījī is fixed in the service of the Lord. In spite of her being the goddess of fortune, she cannot be happy without the grace of the Lord. Even the goddess of fortune needs the Lord’s grace in order to be happy, yet in the material world even Brahmā, the highest created being, seeks the favor of Lakṣmī for happiness.

Qualities of Sita Devi

SB 9.10.55: Mother Sītā was very submissive, faithful, shy and chaste, always understanding the attitude of her husband. Thus by her character and her love and service she completely attracted the mind of the Lord.

Women's duties

View this label "chaste wife" for other excerpts of Texts and Srila Prabhupada's purports on this topic.

SB 7.11.25: To render service to the husband, to be always favorably disposed toward the husband, to be equally well disposed toward the husband's relatives and friends, and to follow the vows of the husband — these are the four principles to be followed by women described as chaste.

SB 7.11.26-27: A chaste woman must dress nicely and decorate herself with golden ornaments for the pleasure of her husband. Always wearing clean and attractive garments, she should sweep and clean the household with water and other liquids so that the entire house is always pure and clean. She should collect the household paraphernalia and keep the house always aromatic with incense and flowers and must be ready to execute the desires of her husband. Being modest and truthful, controlling her senses, and speaking in sweet words, a chaste woman should engage in the service of her husband with love, according to time and circumstances.

SB 7.11.28: A chaste woman should not be greedy, but satisfied in all circumstances. She must be very expert in handling household affairs and should be fully conversant with religious principles. She should speak pleasingly and truthfully and should be very careful and always clean and pure. Thus a chaste woman should engage with affection in the service of a husband who is not fallen.

SB 7.11.29: The woman who engages in the service of her husband, following strictly in the footsteps of the goddess of fortune, surely returns home, back to Godhead, with her devotee husband, and lives very happily in the Vaikuṇṭha planets.

Wife's encouragement necessary for execution of duties in grhastha ashram

From the purport to SB 5.1.23:

Maharaja Priyavrata, strictly maintained varnasrama-dharma by his extraordinary, unparalleled prowess.To maintain such a life of strict vigilance, one needs encouragement from his wife. In the varnasrama-dharma system, certain classes, such as the brahmanas and sannyasis, do not need encouragement from the opposite sex. Ksatriyas and grhasthas, however, actually need the encouragement of their wives in order to execute their duties. Indeed, a grhastha or ksatriya cannot properly execute his responsibilities without the association of his wife. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu personally admitted that a grhastha must live with a wife. Ksatriyas were even allowed to have many wives to encourage them in discharging the duties of government. The association of a good wife is necessary in a life of karma and political affairs. To execute his duties properly, therefore. Maharaja Priyavrata took advantage of his good wife Barhismati, who was always very expert in pleasing her great husband by properly dressing herself, smiling, and exhibiting her feminine bodily features. Queen Barhismati always kept Maharaja Priyavrata very encouraged, and thus he executed his governmental duty very properly. In this verse iva has twice been used to indicate that Maharaja Priyavrata acted exactly like a henpecked husband and thereby seemed to have lost his sense of human responsibility. Actually, however, he was fully conscious of his position as a spirit soul, although he seemingly behaved like an acquiescent karmi husband.

Vanaprastha:Example of King Malayadhvaja and Queen Vaidarbhi

Reference Post for context: Activities of a Disciple in Separation from Spiritual Master

Srila Prabhupada's purport on vanaprastha life SB 4.28.45:

1. The wife especially should remain austere, not desiring luxurious dresses and living standards. She should accept only the bare necessities of life and minimize her eating and sleeping.
   
2. There should be no question of mating. Simply by engaging in the service of her exalted husband, who must be a pure devotee, the wife will never be agitated by sex impulses. The vānaprastha stage is exactly like this. Although the wife remains with the husband, she undergoes severe austerities and penances so that although both husband and wife live together, there is no question of sex. In this way both husband and wife can live together perpetually.
   
3. Nonetheless, the wife is expected to give up all luxurious habits. She should not even dress nicely or comb her hair. Hair combing is one of the main businesses of women. In the vānaprastha stage the wife should not take care of her hair. Thus her hair will become tangled in knots. Consequently the wife will no longer be attractive to the husband, and she herself will no longer be agitated by sex impulses.
   
4. In this way both husband and wife can advance in spiritual consciousness. This advanced stage is called the paramahaḿsa stage, and once it is obtained, both husband and wife can be actually liberated from bodily consciousness. If the disciple remains steady in the service of the spiritual master, he need no longer fear falling down into the clutches of māyā.

Example of King Malayadhvaja:

1. He was a powerful king and great devotee.
   
2. He was not attached when retiring from family life as we can see he divided his kingdom amongst his sons and then engaged in worship,executing austerities and following regulative principles in a solitary place(nirjana bhajan).SB 4.28.33
3. Practiced austerities and became equipoised in dualities.Austerities prescribed in the sastras help one transcend the material body.Sense control can be achieved automatically by engaging in the Lord's service. SB 4.28.37
4. He became fixed by following these principles for 36000 years.
   
5. He attained the perfection of life: Not only did he come to the conclusion that Krsna is everything but he also remained fixed in that realization.

Example of Queen Vaidarbhi:

1. She gave up all sensual enjoyment and in complete renunciation followed the principles of her husband, who was so advanced. Thus she remained engaged in his service.SB 4.28.43
2. Srila Prabhupada says in this regard:"If a woman is fortunate enough to be the wife of a pure devotee, she can serve her husband without any desire for sense gratification. If she remains engaged in the service of her exalted husband, she will automatically attain the spiritual perfections of her husband."
   
3. She remained austere, accepted only bare necessities of life, minimized her eating and sleeping and dressed in old garments.
4. While serving her husband the Queen did not even talk to her husband while serving.he would simply perform her prescribed duties without talk.This is evident from text SB 4.28.45
5. When she discovered her husband had left his body, she cried out of affection for him and she then prepared a blazing fire with firewood and placed the dead body of her husband upon it. When this was finished, she lamented severely and prepared herself to perish in the fire with her husband.SB 4.28.50
   

Chaste wife: Srila Prabhupada's comments from the pastime of Arci

Refer synopsis and verses from Arci's dedication and devotion to Prthu Maharaj

1. Follows the husband in every situation:Being the wives of great personalities like Pṛthu, Lord Rāmacandra and Dhṛtarāṣṭra, Arci,mother Sita and Gandhari were ideal chaste women. Such queens also instructed the general people by showing them how to become a chaste wife and follow the husband in every stage of life. When the husband is king, she sits beside him as the queen, and when he goes to the forest, she also follows, despite having to tolerate all kinds of difficulties in living in the forest.4.23.19
2. Duty in householder life:The words bhartur vrata-dharma-niṣṭhayā indicate that a woman's duty, or religious principle, is to serve her husband in all conditions. In Vedic civilization a man is taught from the beginning of his life to become a brahmacārī, then an ideal gṛhastha, then vānaprastha, then sannyāsī, and the wife is taught just to follow the husband strictly in all conditions of life. After the period of brahmacarya, a man accepts a householder's life, and the woman is also taught by her parents to be a chaste wife. Thus when a girl and boy are united, both are trained for a life dedicated to a higher purpose. The boy is trained to execute his duty in accordance with the higher purpose of life, and the girl is trained to follow him. The chaste wife's duty is to keep her husband pleased in householder life in all respects, and when the husband retires from family life, she is to go to the forest and adopt the life of vānaprastha, or vana-vāsī. At that time the wife is to follow her husband and take care of him, just as she took care of him in householder life. But when the husband takes the renounced order of life, namely sannyāsa, the wife is to return home and become a saintly woman, setting an example for her children and daughters-in-law and showing them how to live a life of austerity.
3. Simply follow in footsteps of husband who is a devotee:A woman does not need to attain high qualifications, but if she simply follows in the footsteps of her husband, who must be a devotee, then both husband and wife attain liberation and are promoted to the Vaikuṇṭhalokas. This is evinced by the inconceivable activities of Mahārāja Pṛthu and his wife.

Arci's dedication and devotion to Prthu Maharaj

Prthu Maharaj retired from family life and entered the forest and strictly followed the regulations of retired life.His wife Arci also followed her husband to the forest as a chaste wife.

Synopsis:

1. She was a daughter of a king and was not accustomed to walking barefoot and living outside of the palace.
   
2. She tolerated all difficulties of living in the wilderness and followed the regulative principles of living in the forest like great sages.
3. Her body became very frail and thin by eating only fruits and leaves.
   
4. She did not feel any difficulties because she derived pleasure in the honor of serving her great husband
5. She lamented only for a little while, when her husband no longer displayed any symptoms of life( -dehino smin- sober person is not bewildered by such a change) .
6. She prepared his funeral pyre following all regulations and herself entered its flames
7. She thus served her husband just like the goddess of fortune serves Lord vishnu.
8. By dint of her chastity and pious activities she followed her great husband to vaikuntha.

Also refer Chaste wife: Srila Prabhupada's comments from the pastime of Arci

Reference texts:

SB 4.23.20: Although she was not accustomed to such difficulties, Queen Arci followed her husband in the regulative principles of living in the forest like great sages. She lay down on the ground and ate only fruits, flowers and leaves, and because she was not fit for these activities, she became frail and thin. Yet because of the pleasure she derived in serving her husband, she did not feel any difficulties.

SB 4.23.21: When Queen Arci saw that her husband, who had been so merciful to her and the earth, no longer showed symptoms of life, she lamented for a little while and then built a fiery pyre on top of a hill and placed the body of her husband on it.

SB 4.23.22: After this, the Queen executed the necessary funerary functions and offered oblations of water. After bathing in the river, she offered obeisances to various demigods situated in the sky in the different planetary systems. She then circumambulated the fire and, while thinking of the lotus feet of her husband, entered its flames.

SB 4.23.23: After observing this brave act performed by the chaste wife Arci, the wife of the great King Pṛthu, many thousands of the wives of the demigods, along with their husbands, offered prayers to the Queen, for they were very much satisfied.

SB 4.23.24: At that time the demigods were situated on the top of Mandara Hill, and all their wives began to shower flowers on the funeral pyre and began to talk amongst themselves as follows.

SB 4.23.25: The wives of the demigods said: All glories to Queen Arci! We can see that this queen of the great King Pṛthu, the emperor of all the kings of the world, has served her husband with mind, speech and body exactly as the goddess of fortune serves the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Yajñeśa, or Viṣṇu.

Wife is adorned with fine garments and ornaments

Synopsis:

Its a wife's responsibility to be an inspiration and keep the husband's intelligence in good order so that they can carry on duties of grhastha asrama together peacefully.

SP's purport:
A woman is generally accustomed to dress herself nicely with fine garments and decorative ornaments. She may even sometimes wear flowers in her hair. Women especially dress themselves up in the evening because the husband comes home in the evening after working hard all day. It is the duty of the wife to dress herself up very nicely so that when her husband returns home he becomes attracted by her dress and cleanliness and thus becomes satisfied. In other words, the wife is the inspiration of all good intelligence. Upon seeing one's wife dressed nicely, one can think very soberly about family business. When a person is too anxious about family affairs, he cannot discharge his family duties nicely. A wife is therefore supposed to be an inspiration and should keep the husband's intelligence in good order so that they can combinedly prosecute the affairs of family life without impediment.

Reference text:
SB 4.27.2: The Queen took her bath and dressed herself nicely with all auspicious garments and ornaments. After taking food and becoming completely satisfied, she returned to the King. Upon seeing her beautifully decorated attractive face, the King welcomed her with all devotion.

Good wife increases family's engagement in devotional service

Synopsis:

1. Success in household life is measured by how well husband and wife are executing Krishna Consciousness.
2. A good wife is one who can help her husband in executing Krishna Consciousness and save him from dangers offered by material existence.
3. There is no difference between good intelligence and a good wife as both help a person on the path of devotional service.
4. With such a good wife the family's engagement in devotional service of the Lord actually makes the home a grahastha-asrama or household dedicated spiritual cultivation.
5. If one is fortunate to have a good wife, he can decide by mutual consultation that human life is meant for advancing in Krishna Consciousness and the children should also be expansion of their Krishna Consciousness.

Reference Text and Purports:
SB 4.26.15: King Purañjana said: I do not understand why my household paraphernalia does not attract me as before. I think that if there is neither a mother nor devoted wife at home, the home is like a chariot without wheels. Where is the fool who will sit down on such an unworkable chariot?
Purport:
Actually, a woman is supposed to be the energy of the man. Historically, in the background of every great man there is either a mother or a wife. One’s household life is very successful if he has both a good wife and mother. In such a case, everything about household affairs and all the paraphernalia in the house becomes very pleasing. Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu had both a good mother and pleasing wife, and He was very happy at home. Nonetheless, for the benefit of the whole human race, He took sannyāsa and left both His mother and wife. In other words, it is essential that one have both a good mother and wife in order to become perfectly happy at home. Otherwise home life has no meaning. Unless one is religiously guided by intelligence and renders devotional service unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead, his home can never become very pleasing to a saintly person. In other words, if a man has a good mother or a good wife, there is no need of his taking sannyāsa — that is, unless it is absolutely necessary, as it was for Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu.


SB 4.26.16: Kindly let me know the whereabouts of that beautiful woman who always saves me when I am drowning in the ocean of danger. By giving me good intelligence at every step, she always saves me.
Purport
Herein we see that King Purañjana was searching after his good wife, who always helped him out of the dangerous situations that always occur in material existence. As already explained, a real wife is dharma-patnī. That is, a woman accepted in marriage by ritualistic ceremony is called dharma-patnī, which signifies that she is accepted in terms of religious principles. Children born of a dharma-patnī inherit the property of the father, but children born of a woman who is not properly married do not inherit the father’s property. The word dharma-patnī also refers to a chaste wife. A chaste wife is one who never had any connection with men before her marriage. Once a woman is given the freedom to mingle with all kinds of men in her youth, it is very difficult for her to keep chaste. When butter is brought into the proximity of fire, it melts. The woman is like fire, and man is like the butter. But if one gets a chaste wife, accepted through a religious marriage ritual, she can be of great help when one is threatened by the many dangerous situations of life. Actually such a wife can become the source of all good intelligence. With such a good wife, the family’s engagement in the devotional service of the Lord actually makes a home a gṛhastha-āśrama, or household dedicated to spiritual cultivation.

SB 4.27.6: Purport for Point 5 in synopsis.
 If a man is in good consciousness, he consults with his religious wife, and as a result of this consultation, with intelligence, one advances in his ability to estimate the value of life. In other words, if one is fortunate enough to have a good, conscientious wife, he can decide by mutual consultation that human life is meant for advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and not for begetting a large number of children. Children are calledpariṇāma, or by-products, and when one consults his good intelligence he can see that his by-products should be the expansion of his Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Also from purport to 4.26.15:

The great politician Cāṇakya Paṇḍita said:

mātā yasya gṛhe nāsti
 bhāryā cāpriya-vādinī
araṇyaṁ tena gantavyaṁ
 yathāraṇyaṁ tathā gṛham

“If a person has neither a mother nor a pleasing wife at home, he should leave home and go to the forest, because for him there is no difference between the forest and home.” The real mātā, or mother, is devotional service to the Lord, and the real patnī, or devoted wife, is a wife who helps her husband execute religious principles in devotional service. These two things are required for a happy home.

Actually, a woman is supposed to be the energy of the man. Historically, in the background of every great man there is either a mother or a wife. One’s household life is very successful if he has both a good wife and mother. In such a case, everything about household affairs and all the paraphernalia in the house becomes very pleasing. Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu had both a good mother and pleasing wife, and He was very happy at home. Nonetheless, for the benefit of the whole human race, He took sannyāsa and left both His mother and wife. In other words, it is essential that one have both a good mother and wife in order to become perfectly happy at home. Otherwise home life has no meaning. Unless one is religiously guided by intelligence and renders devotional service unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead, his home can never become very pleasing to a saintly person. In other words, if a man has a good mother or a good wife, there is no need of his taking sannyāsa — that is, unless it is absolutely necessary, as it was for Lord Caitanya Mahāprabhu.