The format for grhastha life should be dedication to the Lord

In the chapters 11,12 and 13 of the 7 th canto Narada Muni explains the duties and activities of Brahmacaris, Vanaprasthas, Sannyasis and women. All the three varnas mentioned are very important to achieve the goal of life.Also Narada Muni wanted to stress that sex life was not at all necessary and if one so desires it he can go enter grhastha ashram.
Yudhisthira Maharaj inquires for our benefit on what should the activities of a person in grhastha ashram be. How can one in the grhastha ashram without any knowledge of the goal of life attain liberation according to the instructions of the Vedas.The asrama is very difficult and offers many diversions , how can one in such an ashram also attain the success of life.

In this post the instructions given by Narada Muni in answer to the above question are presented:

• Work to earn the livelihood but offer the results to Krishna and satisfy Him
  

Srila Prabhupada states in 7.14.2 "The format of Grhastha life should be dedication to the Supreme Personality of Godhead". One must act only to satisfy the Lord.One must live a very simple life

• Through Association one learns the science of satisfying the Lord:

In 7.14.2 "saksad upasita maha-munim" - How to satisfy Vasudeva in this life can be perfectly understood through the association of great devotees of the Lord.
maha-muni refers to those who have not only studied the goal of life but who are actually engaged in satisfying the Lord.These persons are known as devotees. Unless one associates with devotees, one cannot learn the science of "vasudevarpana" -dedicating ones life to the Supreme.

• What is the recommended way of association: Hearing from saintly persons

In 7.14.3-4 Narada Muni says: "A gṛhastha must associate again and again with saintly persons, and with great respect he must hear the nectar of the activities of the Supreme Lord and His incarnations as these activities are described in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and other Purāṇas. Thus one should gradually become detached from affection for his wife and children, exactly like a man awakening from a dream."
By hearing from great souls on topics of SB and BG one gets purified of their sinful inclination.
One should hear repeatedly - again and again (abhiksanam) because bhagavat-katahare the words spoken by Krishna or about Krsna- thus they are amrtam. The more one drinks this amrtam one advances in his eternal life.
Srila Prabhupada says: "One should work eight hours at the most to earn his livelihood, and either in the afternoon or in the evening a householder should associate with devotees to hear about the incarnations of Kṛṣṇa and His activities and thus be gradually liberated from the clutches of māyā."
After hearing from the great souls one's detachment to material life reduces. Also the relationships within the family become based on a Krsna centric conception rather than the material conception of enjoyment.

• Simplicity(7.14.5-8) : Give up the sense of proprietorship
  

One should live unattached to family affairs even though one may look externally attached like others. Thus household life centered around Krsna may externally look like any other household but in consciousness and principle they are unattached to family affairs and are working on developing attachment towards Krishna.

Those in grhastha life should work enough to keep body and soul together and keep the focus in fulfilling the purpose of life.Even when others may give suggestions, the householder must agree externally but internally he should be fixed in the goal of life and keeping his activities centered around that.

Claim proprietorship to only as much as needed to keep body and soul together. Anyone desiring more than that must be considered as a thief. If there is extra money it should be spent in furthering the Krsna Consciousness movement- building temples, books, etc.

• Non-envious and maintain others (7.14.9 and 7.14.11)
  

Animals like deers , asses, monkeys, mice, snakes etc should be treated exactly like one's own children. They are also innocent. They should be allowed to live peacefully and we should not disturb them. Infact if possible the householder can maintain them by giving them prasad. If he doesnt do that he is envious and does not like it that all other animals also have a claim to God's property.

One should give up the attachment to one's material life and pleasures and should engage in maintaining even dogs, fallen persons, untouchables, etc.

One should give up one's excessive attachment to one's wife - i.e. the idea of ownership towards family must also be abandoned.

• Give up excessive attachment to wife(family members)

We are eternal souls and any material attachments that we have will not be eternal.Only the Supreme Lord is eternal. Thus one must develop a stronger spiritual conception and base the relationships one the spiritual conception. Excessive material attachment towards family members will divert one from services. Instead basing the relationships on devotion to Krsna and thus engaging in service to Krsna is favorable.

Thus "offering even one's wife in reception of guests and people" means offering that material attachment as an oblation in the sacrifice of devotional service.Thus giving up any activities centered around that material relationship.If one does so one can direct one's energies towards devotional service.

The relationship between man and women based on sex is the strongest relationship - if that can be given up one can conquer the Supreme.

• Grhasthas should eat only prasad.
• Respect and worship all living entities:Worship the Supreme Lord everyday by worshiping the demigods, saintly persons, forefathers, other human beings and living entities.
• Offer sacrifices with wealth and knowledge : in this day and age chanting the Hare Krsna mahamantra and participating in Lord Caitanya's sankirtan movement with one's wealth and knowledge is the recommendation.
• Service to vaishnavas by serving them nice prasad and distribute prasad to other living entities.
  

The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Śrī Kṛṣṇa, is the enjoyer of sacrificial offerings. Yet although His Lordship eats the oblations offered in the fire, my dear King, He is still more satisfied when nice food made of grains and ghee is offered to Him through the mouths of qualified brāhmaṇas.

• Offer oblations to forefathers

Idea is : In one's life shouldnt be restricted to selfishness
If cannot become great devotee, or give up one's life like a brahmacari, sannyasi or vanaprasthi, or live simply - atleast one should minimize one's selfishness by becoming charitable. Charity to be done atleast to one's family members and forefathers if one cannot perform the charity of maintaining other living entities and animals.
By acknowledging that the ceremony we do now will benefit the forefathers who have passed away one develops the consciousness of eternalness of the soul. One's self is benefited by this consciousness. One's heart expands a little bit.In grhastha life - one is usually very self-centered and thinks about his benefit and that of family members. This contracts the heart and makes it heard for giving charity. One develops envy and desires all enjoyment for oneself. The contraction of the heart by which one feels one needs more and more creates greater dissatisfaction and thus UNHAPPINESS.The oblations one performs towards one's forefathers and the charity and non-enviousness exhibited towards other living entities(7.14.9-7.14.11) helps one open their heart a little bit. Thus people gradually become less selfish and more charitable. This helps one give up the sense of proprietorship over all that pervades - it helps one recognize that all entities are God's creation and they have as much right to be maintained as much as oneself. So makes some advancement by this process it is eternal.

• Any place where there is a Vaishnava, or a temple of Lord Krishna ,etc are auspicious places to perform worship and purificatory rituals.
• Lord Krsna is the best person to whom everything must be given - He is the object of all our worship. e.g Rajasuya sacrifice all the assembled sages unanimously decided that Lord Krsna must be the first person to be worshiped.
• One must be respectful to all living entities as the Lord resides as the Supersoul in all of them.
• Deity worship is recommended to overcome envy and develop respectful dealings with everyone. Refer for further explanation:One who worships the deity must be non-envious and Engagement in deity worship encourages respectful dealings between Vaishnavas
  
• Brahmanas are to be considered the best because by practicing austerity, Vedic studies and satisfaction he becomes the counterpart body of the Lord.