Sunday, July 17, 2011

Taking Responsibility

After Jarasandha was killed , Lord Krishna released the 20,800 kings held captive by Jarasandha.The kings recd the Lord's darshan and also spoke words of glorification to Him. They also offer prayers to the Lord and one of them is:

SB 10.73.9: O master, Madhusūdana, we do not blame this King of Magadha, since it is actually by Your mercy that kings fall from their royal position, O almighty Lord.

The kings had been imprisoned for many many years by Jarasandha. They had suffered a lot during their time of imprisonment and had also suffered the pain of being away from their kingdoms and their loved ones.
Inspite of this and the various atrocities meted out by Jarasandha the kings say in the above verse that they do not blame the King of Magadha for their situation and they accept it as the Lord's mercy.

From the purport: "
It is significant that upon seeing Lord Kṛṣṇa and thus becoming purified of their sins, the kings did not feel any mundane hatred or bitterness toward Jarāsandha, who had imprisoned them. Simply by seeing Lord Kṛṣṇa, the kings came to the position of Kṛṣṇa consciousness and spoke these verses, which show deep spiritual wisdom.
"
When we are in a difficult situation especially when it involves some people "causing harm" to us - it is extremely difficult to accept the difficulty as the Lord's mercy. I usually carry anger towards the persons involved in the situation and consider them to be the reasons for my pain and difficulty.

However, it is the Lord's mercy because through that difficulty Krishna is taking away from me all that I am attached to and all that is blocking me from His service. I must be thankful to Him as His mercy in this form is easing out my forward march towards Krishna's lotus feet.
Instead of thinking like that I am caught into thinking about how I have been harmed by certain people and how I want them to understand the pain I went through because of their actions.

Taking responsibility is liberating
Because of such a thought process I am carrying a lot of baggage of expectations towards those persons and am constantly feeling like a victim - remembering all the pain and all the time fearing their next action towards me.Such a thought process is not liberating or uplifting. It is rooting me down to material conceptions- it does not help me grow.
On the other hand if I accept the situation as a result of my own actions and as a part of the Lord's divine plan to lead me in the positive direction it will make me feel very light, happy and positive. I can at the same time still be watchful of the same people and their harm causing potential but not bog myself down with all the fear and the anger.

Takes Humility
It will take some humility on my part to accept everything as a result of my actions and also take responsibility for my feelings. Humility is difficult because it forces me to hold myself accountable for the situation. Blaming is easy - when I do that I don't have to hold myself responsible.

In my situation, everything that is happening is for my benefit- the difficult situations helped me become a stronger person- it made me realize that Krishna is our only shelter, that we cannot change Krishna's plan- that Krishna is more powerful than us. It also helped me understand people and the world more closely- it helped me see how weak people are and how they take shelter of unjust means to control someone in order to hide their own weaknesses.

Oh Lord Krishna please help me understand this in this way- Please help me see everything in my life as Your mercy - Please remove this covering , please help me overcome this thought process so that I can live a life of freedom in devotional service to You- please help me Krishna so that I can offer myself fully to You.
Please help this servant of Yours so that she can overcome her anarthas to serve you completely.




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